Home of the Blue Mango

One stop for insanity.
"If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water gun and squirt people in the eyes with it."
- This deep thought brought to you from Nina's subconscious.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Stalkers: an Indepth Analysis

My suicide schedule this semester is getting me to re-evaluate certain things like...
Why do I have so many stalkers?
Well, first I should probably define what I call a "stalker." Trust me people, they come in all shapes and sizes. But they are all united and characterized by a few notable traits: They're needy. And although they have many many friends, they are all clearly superficial or else they wouldn't be so starved for attention. They often try to 'buy" this attention by offering the following: dinner, gifts, care packages.... When they feel they aren't getting attention, they either turn resentful and retaliate....or continue on their pointless path and increase their persistence tenfold. Unfortunately, I've been treated to both varieties of stalkers.
Why do they stalk me?
This is of some confusion to me. I'm independant, detest clingy people, and yet, ....am too trusting. Before living in Pittsburgh, I was unaware of this new species of people :Stalkerus Burghius...they're freaking everywhere. Maybe its the shitty weather that drives them to harass college girls to the point of insanity...but still. After some careful introspection I realize that when I first make friends with these people, they come off as nice, normal individuals. It's only weeks later, after finding 18 messages on my phone that I realize that it's not the case....and by then I'm far too non-confrontational to cut them off. There are different degrees of friendship....there are my roomates who I feel very close to, and spend my small amount of free time with. Then there are those people that I don't see very often but consider nice people. Fortunately, the vast majority of these are like me, independant, and hence let me have my space. And then....the last type: The ..."Acquaintance". The Acquaintance is the person you might have shared some bullshit elective during freshman year with or perhaps had a casual conversation at some bus stop or random outing. And apart from the usual shared topics of how class sucks, etc.....you two have NOTHING in common. As in, I may have more in common with a Pat Robertson, and YET they continue to call you...months, perhaps even a whole year after said class, because in a moment of innocent naivete you offered over your cellphone number. I'm far too passive....only those that know me well can actually tell if I'm faking enthusiasm when I run into a stalker for fear of hurting their feelings....when honestly, why the HELL should I care? They're the ones leeching off of me as if I'm some positivity drug they need to get through their day...
So the real question is: Do I honestly have to join witness protection before they stop calling incessantly wanting to hang out?Will they ever realize that pre-med....esp. w/ four sciences makes this IMPOSSIBLE for even those friends that I actually WANT to see? And that I'd rather drink battery acid than spend my little free time being used for their entertainment in an effort to liven up their dull and insipid lives? Okay that's harsh...but I'm tired of it! No more...

In other news.....well okay there IS no other news, I just figured I'd put in the obligatory new year post. Unfortunately, this whole "stalker" post happened to come up and hence I'm following up the bitter physics post...with yet another bitter post. Anyone guess what my attempted New Years resolution is? yeah....not to be so bitter. I've still got both hands and legs....up to my ears in granola bars....I'm set, I really shouldn't be bitching this much. Enough is enough. (cough, watch me break this resolution as soon as midterms roll around).

Quote of the Day:
Bert: "Hello? Son of a bitch, I'm on my way." [hangs up, gets out of bed and dresses] "Some poor bastard got his head blown off at Hooper's."
Ernie: "Bert, I wish you wouldn't drink so much."
Bert: "Well, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies in the DAMN bed!"
Ernie: [quivering]"Bert, you're shouting again."
Family Guy

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