Bitterville: Population One

I'm back from thanksgiving break in a strange depressive funk for which I have no good reason for. But I know I can pinpoint it down to my love life....or more specifically, my lack thereof. I'm wincing as I write this because it's so completely against my nature to do that mainstream boo-hoo-unrequited-crush junk that seems to be my life. Atleast, I've somehow broken out of that moronic pattern only to fall into a worse one.....giving in to lame bouts of melancholy. Yup, melancholy pretty much sums it up, here's dictionary.com's definition which hit the nail right on the hammer: "Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom;Pensive reflection or contemplation."
I rather like that last definition....."pensive reflection". I'm pensively reflecting, NOT moping, over my singleness. I think the reason I'm thinking about it so much is that lately its as if I've been sucked into this Black Hole of Coupledom by some of the most unlikely people. It all started this summer when my brother the introvert recluse tells me he has a steady girlfriend he's in love with....and its long distance which is really admirable, in my opinion, if people can make it work. But good lord, I think I was in shock for atleast a week afterwards. My parents really pretend like nothing's happening but on their rare visits to the land of reality, muse at how the first to date was my brother and not me (the seemingly only extroverted/social member of my family). And in my mind, I was really wondering the same thing. Not to be misunderstood, my brother is great and I know any girl would be lucky to have him, but I really thought that being as shy as he is, it would be years before he'd have a serious relationship....boy was I wrong. So all summer long, I've been regaled with tales of long distance love and because it was my brother I suffered in silence trying not to a) roll my eyes or b) retch when sentences beginning with the words "when you really love someone...." were uttered. I happily come back to college to my other 2 musketeers Tara and Patricia, where being single is once again cool and independant. All right!....ah, but this doesn't last long.
Because I'm way too lazy to retell the saga of how Tara and her freaking soul mate Bus Stop Boy Bernard aka Action Jackson aka Bernie Zone aka John got together, I'll just skip to the part that's relevant to this post. They're together almost 24/7, and once again note how Tara, like my brother, who has a long history of scorning/ignoring the opposite gender altogether manages to find someone she really likes...AND who can cook! What are the chances?...Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited that my brother and Tara have found someone because I've never seen either of them so happy ...ever. I mean, I could launch a flaming skunk at them and they'd still walk around with that "Relationship GRIN". Oh yeah, think Joker from Batman.....alright I'm exaggerating, sue me.
So my theories? 1) I have some insane vibe that drive all men around me to treat me like a) cute kid sister b) random person to converse with or c) punch-em-on-the arm-and-trade-dirty-jokes-buddy, 2) Fate has destined me to be ..single...forever...which is....cool *cough*....3) I'm a raving hypocrite who moans about the pain of singledom but when even approached with the hint of relationship prospects, bolts in the other direction, 4) I subconsciously seek only those guys who are either utterly unattainable or completely incompatible with me to crush on as a weird safety net, or 5) I'm really tired, it's 1:32 a.m. and I'm writing about utter crap because I'm bored. Yup, that's enough introspection for today, frankly I'm shocked I even kept at it this long.
(Listening to "Right in Front of You" by Celine Dion....shudder....dear god, Celine Dion? "SNAP OUT OF IT NINA!" ...::slap!::...okay, I think I'm fine now.)
I just need to survive this week and THEN I can....oh wait, FINALS. Dammit. I need to end on a positive note: I rode the subway on my own this week in New York without getting mugged/kidnapped/assaulted/chased by wild dogs ...yes, miracles do happen. I'm going to leave with this singularly awesome quote:

Randall: "Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin? "
Mike: "Okay, first of all, it's "cretin." If you're going to threaten me, do it properly. And second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is going to help YOU cheat your way to the top!"
Randall: [Chuckles evilly.] "You still think this is about that stupid scare record? :
Mike: "Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here."

Monsters Inc.