The Siege of Soccer Moms

Just when I thought the population of BITCHes (This stands for BitterIlliterateTestyCheapHack) storming Baskin Robbins had diminished......the mother of all bad customers happens to wander into the store. This is the exchange that took place....I kid you not, it is almost word for word.
The setup: Customer asks for double scoop of mint chip on a sugar cone.....a simple order. And yet it would lead to a debacle.
I get the order for her.....she proceeds to bring it back to me.
Me: "What seems to be the problem, ma'am?"
BITCH: "My cone is cracked."
Okayy.....so I put both scoops in a cup, throw away the broken cone, and give her a new one.
Apparently, this doesn't satisfy her Royal Highness either....
BITCH: "NO, this absolutely will not do, I want it in a CONE."
Me: "Ma'am, the cone's going to crack with two scoops."
BITCH: "I've come here before, and the cone hasn't cracked."
Me: "Well, then instead of a sugar cone, how about a plain one. It's more sturdy."
BITCH: "I don't WANT a plain cone!"

At this point, I'm at a complete loss at how to wrap up this totally circular argument.
Finally, I decide it's not worth the brain cells to placate this woman's monstrously large ego. I get her a totally different cone, with two new scoops, and end up throwing the other cup away (what a waste of ice cream!). Sheesh. At this, Brumhilda here ROLLS her eyes, and proceeds to ask for the manager. Now, I"m just staring at her in shock, and actually wondering if I should check for horns and a pitchfork. There can be no way that someone is this anal retentive, and for no fault of mine! I was SO tempted to tell her that I was the owner's daughter and proceed to slap her into the Ming Dynasty.....but, I just let her write down my father's name and wander off grumbling the whole way. Are people like that for real? It's like Satan dropped a big egg and it hatched in Los Gatos because there's a higher percentage of repressed venom-spewing citizens than normal for a town of this size. All I'm saying is, one would have to have the patience of a saint to put up with all the daily drama of Baskin Robbins.....and I only have patience for nice people. If I had it my way, there'd be big newly released ex-cons serving as bouncers for the store. Or....maybe I'd call in a favor to the mafia. Like "Eh, Vinny....take care of her for me will 'ya." BAM.....soccer mom goes DOWn!
In other news, tomorrow brings another friendly visit to the dentist. I've been there a lot this summer, and I'm not even disturbed anymore by light classical music underscoring the sound of them sawing away at my teeth.
Here's a quote from Family Guy to sign off with:
Brian Griffin: Everyone, this is Tina.
Meg Griffin: What happened to you?
Brian Griffin: How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up?

Glen: All right, now the sun sets in the East, right?
Mitch: No! The sun sets in the West.
Glen: That's if your *in* the East, but we are way out West now, so we are past where the sun sets.
Mitch: You can't be *passed* where the sun sets, and if you think you can, then I am directly South of an idiot!
City Slickers 2

That's it....I swear, now I'm going to end this multicolored post before I go blind.