A Warm and Fuzzy letter about twin Hitlers!
Here's some background to get you guys prepared for all the laughing to come (original article found here)
The sensational 13 year old neo-nazi twins Lynx and Lamb (and no.. I'm not making these names up)are thankfully inviting criticism from several unlikely sources, and not just for their poppy racist ballads that have all the subtlety of a stripper twirling around a pole, their eerie resemblance to the Children of the Corn, or even their whack job stage mother April Gaede whose previous intellectual apex was when she, "rode a horse through the streets of her hometown wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, boots, G-string, bunny tail, and a pair of bumper stickers slapped across her breasts as part of a contest at a local radio station."
Critics of this charming duo include 14 year old Sarah of Fresno who wrote this letter to the anti-Gaede twins site PrussianBlueSucks describing her, no doubt,traumatizing encounter with them. After several bouts of gut-wrenching laughter ...I am now well enough to post this hysterical letter in its entirety:
I know Lynx and Lamb. I was at the [NAME REDACTED] mall one day with my BFFs Kirsten and Jess and wer were just standing by Claire's waiting for Jess's ear to stop bleeding becuz she got another hole peirced (she has 14 holes in her left ear!) and this blond girl came up to us and asked us who we were. It was wierd becuz we didn't know her and she wanted top know who we were. So we told her and she told us her name was Lynx. And honestly I didn't laff. Honestly. But Kirsten kind of did. (Jess couldn't cuz she was kind of crying.) And she got a little mad but whatever. So she asked us if we went to school and we told her we did. She said she was homeschooled and Kirsten kind of laffed more becuz obvs homeschooled kids are total freakes. I just stood there and didnt do anything really. Oh, Lynx looked like a milkmaid. It was wierd. Anyway she said she was new in [NAME REDACTED] and she was looking for freinds which was wired becuz you don't really look for freinds, you just mnake them, you know? Anyway so that was wreid. (And Jess's ear was really bleeding at this point. She went ot the bathroom I think.) BUt we we like whatever. So we just staired at each other for awhile. Then another Lynx walked up to us but she said her name was Lamb. At this point Kirsten completly lost it and ran away. So I was standing there by myself with these two girls who looked like milkmaids looking at me with thier creepy blue eyes. TOTALLY creepy. IT was so deirw. Lamb said I was pretty and they were new in [NAME REDACTED] and they were just in the mall and whatever. She seemed more normal even tho her name was Lamb. Then Lynx was like I told them that already and got all crazy. I was like Lynx is TOTALLY the cunty one becuz with twins theres always a nice one and always a cunty one. I didnt' say that but that's what I thought,. Then Lynx asked me if had any black freinds. So I said yes becuz I'm totally in the drama club with An'gell. So Lynx spat on me and Lamb kicked me in the shin and they walked away. And I was just standing there. Kirsten wasn't around and JEss was still iun the bathroom. THEN, they turned around and called me n-lover, if you know what I mean. I can't write it becuz it's too awful. So I screamed milkmaid ho's at them, but they just walked away. So thats how I knew they were little racist bitches. I'm glad I know becuz if I ever see them again or in concert, I'll totally throw crap at them. Like bottles or something.
Love,
Sarah
Whew...good stuff. I can't wait to see the bizarre site traffic I'll get now.
The sensational 13 year old neo-nazi twins Lynx and Lamb (and no.. I'm not making these names up)are thankfully inviting criticism from several unlikely sources, and not just for their poppy racist ballads that have all the subtlety of a stripper twirling around a pole, their eerie resemblance to the Children of the Corn, or even their whack job stage mother April Gaede whose previous intellectual apex was when she, "rode a horse through the streets of her hometown wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, boots, G-string, bunny tail, and a pair of bumper stickers slapped across her breasts as part of a contest at a local radio station."
Critics of this charming duo include 14 year old Sarah of Fresno who wrote this letter to the anti-Gaede twins site PrussianBlueSucks describing her, no doubt,traumatizing encounter with them. After several bouts of gut-wrenching laughter ...I am now well enough to post this hysterical letter in its entirety:
I know Lynx and Lamb. I was at the [NAME REDACTED] mall one day with my BFFs Kirsten and Jess and wer were just standing by Claire's waiting for Jess's ear to stop bleeding becuz she got another hole peirced (she has 14 holes in her left ear!) and this blond girl came up to us and asked us who we were. It was wierd becuz we didn't know her and she wanted top know who we were. So we told her and she told us her name was Lynx. And honestly I didn't laff. Honestly. But Kirsten kind of did. (Jess couldn't cuz she was kind of crying.) And she got a little mad but whatever. So she asked us if we went to school and we told her we did. She said she was homeschooled and Kirsten kind of laffed more becuz obvs homeschooled kids are total freakes. I just stood there and didnt do anything really. Oh, Lynx looked like a milkmaid. It was wierd. Anyway she said she was new in [NAME REDACTED] and she was looking for freinds which was wired becuz you don't really look for freinds, you just mnake them, you know? Anyway so that was wreid. (And Jess's ear was really bleeding at this point. She went ot the bathroom I think.) BUt we we like whatever. So we just staired at each other for awhile. Then another Lynx walked up to us but she said her name was Lamb. At this point Kirsten completly lost it and ran away. So I was standing there by myself with these two girls who looked like milkmaids looking at me with thier creepy blue eyes. TOTALLY creepy. IT was so deirw. Lamb said I was pretty and they were new in [NAME REDACTED] and they were just in the mall and whatever. She seemed more normal even tho her name was Lamb. Then Lynx was like I told them that already and got all crazy. I was like Lynx is TOTALLY the cunty one becuz with twins theres always a nice one and always a cunty one. I didnt' say that but that's what I thought,. Then Lynx asked me if had any black freinds. So I said yes becuz I'm totally in the drama club with An'gell. So Lynx spat on me and Lamb kicked me in the shin and they walked away. And I was just standing there. Kirsten wasn't around and JEss was still iun the bathroom. THEN, they turned around and called me n-lover, if you know what I mean. I can't write it becuz it's too awful. So I screamed milkmaid ho's at them, but they just walked away. So thats how I knew they were little racist bitches. I'm glad I know becuz if I ever see them again or in concert, I'll totally throw crap at them. Like bottles or something.
Love,
Sarah
Whew...good stuff. I can't wait to see the bizarre site traffic I'll get now.
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