Como se dice "Screwed" en Espanol? Anyone?

What's this...the rare blog entry with a definitive topic in mind?? Let's see how long it'll take me to get totally sidetracked. So, some changes have been happening in my otherwise ho-hum life, other than the fact that I'm now officially 20 (yes, as of June 2nd, 4:45 am to be annoyingly technical) and have left my teenage years behind. What a relief. I don't really know why people yearn for childhood days. I mean, were things really that simple and carefree or are people just remembering- wait, oh my god, three sentences in and I'm already talking about something else. Jesus, okay, SPANISH, that's what I wanted to touch on today.
Point is, I need it..... I need it DESPERATELY. In less than a month, I will be doing the following: 1) Travelling to a foreign country(ies) for the first time (okay so Costa Rica is in the same hemisphere as my parents...but still!) 2) Doing every ...single...thing...that crosses my damn mind with no (okay, maybe just a little) reservation. 3) Cram as much Spanish in my poor biology-scarred mind as humanly possible.

That being said, how totally lame is it that I'm going to a latin american country with absolutely no background in Spanish? Ugh, where exactly is 6 years of French going to get me in Costa Rica, except for people laughing and pointing at the fact that I'm essentially butchering the pronounciation? So this summer, I vowed to take on the challenge. I even sidelined my supposedly hardcore LSAT study schedule, to make the long and painful journey towards Spanish aquisition. This includes Barron's "Spanish the Easy Way" book... alright cue the slow-motion shot of me running towards this workbook...it fucking rules. Apart from the badly drawn pictures of well..everything (for some reason, the illustrator makes everyone's hand look like a claw), it's easy enough to follow. I started a couple days ago, and am now on lesson 4.... don't be impressed. All this means is that if someone, for some reason in Costa Rica, decides to point at a police officer and ask me "Es una radio?" (Is this a radio?), I can then proudly respond without hesitation, "No, senor. No es una radio. Es un policia." (No, sir. It's not a radio. It's a police officer.) Pretty awesome huh?

To supplement these lessons, I'm trying to listen to democracynow.org's daily spanish news summary....12 minutes of a spanish woman speaking world news headlines in light speed. After 10 minutes of listening carefully...here's what I managed to extract and translate succesfully: "Iraq." That's it. No please, stop the applause, I can't take any more. Bottom line: Need...help...badly (yes...all hot bilinguals please leave your contact info hehehe....cough, i'm done now.)

Alright I'll stop being a baby. I guess I just feel like I'm on a pressurized deadline...which I sort of am. I guess I have a lot riding on this trip.... The way I see it, these are just some of the consequences if I don't learn a decent amount of spanish before going:
1) I'll be forced to endure the company of my American peers in the program. Not only would this defeat the purpose of going to a foreign country and eliminate any true cultural immersion, but I have a sneaking suspicion that several of these participants are treating this study abroad experience as little more than summer vacation and probably expect to spend their days getting a tan while lounging on a beach with a tropical drink in hand. Ahem, this hypothesis was partly formed from a disturbing email I received from one of the girls who would be going on the July session. It read "Hey peeps! I'm so psyched to be goin to Casta Rica, hit me up if you wanna chat!!!!" Between the four exclamation marks and the mispelling of the country, I wasn't filled with much confidence. But, lest I be accused of judging a person on the basis of one email, I'll reserve any further scathing criticism till I meet the girl (who goes by the alias "Summer Peaches"... i don't want to ask).
2) I have a week after my program ends where I'm completely on my own, and ahem...will be heading North ...way..way North (like cough Nicaragua cough). This is what worries me most. I loathe to take the paranoid alarmist view the Pitt Study Abroad office takes with students who travel alone unprepared, but I don't want to be stupid about this. If I end up taking the wrong bus/taxi or end up in the wrong city because of my halting Spanish or absence of directional sense.... well, I'll have to convince my angry, buff guerilla kidnappers to let me put in a Collect call to my parents, who will probably give them instructions on how to torture me effectively ("First, we'll mail you her old MCAT prep book, then you ask her to recite the pathway of blood to the heart in six seconds! Oh, follow this with 4 hours of Noam Chomsky read aloud!") Okay, maybe I am paranoid. But really, despite the action/adventure aspect of this side trip, I don't want to end up on a milk carton...
3) There is my post-graduation trek to Chiapas ...and most programs that have peace observation there include a non-negotiable "Speak spanish fluently...or DIE" clause. So the deadline is very real in my mind....

But, despite all this, unlike French which had me slamming my head on the desk during high school because I was almost positive I had no desire to go to France, hence making all the years kind of a waste,.... I really like Spanish. Moreover, I know it'll come in handy in the future...not to mention that their insults sound awesome. Ahem, example: "Tu madre es una puta fea." (Your mom is an ugly bitch.) .....sigh....beautiful.

Added bonus: The spanish word for Columbus (my dead historical nemesis) is "colon." COLON...hahaha how hilarious is that. Serves him right, bastard.

Lyrics of the Day:

CORO:]
Sufro, siento, rio, lloro,
callo, grito, con toda mi gente
sufro, siento, rio, lloro,
callo, grito, por que no me entienden

Si yo; trabajo de sol a sol
si ser honesto es mi religion
yo no necesito que me digan
que es lo que puedo hacer, no no que no

Si yo vine de lejos a esta tierra,
fue por que havia escuchado la promesa
que aqui yo encontraria la manera
para poder vivir mejor...

[CORO: 2 Veces]

Yo quiero que entiendan que en mi tambien corre el sudor
que yo quiero a mi tierra
que ami tambien me duele lo mismo que austed...
que sepan que yo soy de aqui como lo es cualquiera
que tambien me da pena,
las injusticias, la pobresa de mi gente...

[CORO: 2 veces]

Sufro por ti para que no sigas asi
gozo al sentir que tu me entiendes a mi
rio al mirar toda mi gente reir
grito al saver que tu te sientes asi

[CORO: 2 veces]

Por mi gente es que grito yo
es que grito hoy
por mi gente es que canto hoy
es que canto pa' mi gente
por mi gente es que grito yo
grito al saver que tu te sientes asi
por mi gente es que canto hoy
canto de mi gente, canto por mi gente eh,eh,i,eh... oh,oh
por mi gente es que grito yo
que no sufra mas asi...
por mi gente es que canto hoy
por mi gente es que canto hoy...
--- "Mi Gente" by Ozomatli and Kumbia Kings