Home of the Blue Mango

One stop for insanity.
"If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water gun and squirt people in the eyes with it."
- This deep thought brought to you from Nina's subconscious.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

"Bonding" with the folks

Ah.....well, grades have been posted....and subsequently the holiday season has been ruined for me. Why? ....yes, well you know that miracle I was holding out for that perhaps I didn't do as bad as I thought on the final....well, that's been effectively destroyed. I got a C- in O.Chem.....which means that I was about 1 or 2 percent from passing the class. Do you know how much that totally PISSES ME OFF?! I apparently was so pissed that I ended up having a nightmare yesterday that all us people that didn't pass because of the incompetence of one tired old man, were being taught O.Chem 1 in a ramshackle bus by the cafeteria lady. Forget for a second that in college there IS no cafeteria lady (not just one anyway), my dreams just keep getting more and more bizarre. ANd how did the O.Chem nightmare end? Well, I dropped my midterm and it rolled (again, one asks how a flat piece of a paper can "roll"....but hell, it's my dream), down the aisle and out of the bus into a mud puddle. And that's how, in the dream, I failed O.Chem again. If dreams are indicative of real life, then I could very well be doing this class over till the end of time...... hold on folks, while I go throw up in my room.
That being said, my parents are trying to suffocate me again with more family bonding time........NOOOOOOO! Don't get me wrong, I like sipping hot chocolate in front of a roaring fire and watching Home Alone as much as the next person, but ......dammit, they've planned another ....FAMILY TRIP....dun dun dun. ....to Las Vegas (and seeing as how I can't drink, smoke, or gamble (legally anyway), I don't foresee this as a very exciting trip for me). Now, since I'm going to have to spend 4 days in a hotel room with my family, isn't only my fair that they let me see my friends for just a day. My mom's answer, "I don't think so." God, she reminds me so much of the magic conch. Apparently my parents want to spend as much time with me as possible before I go off to be miserable next semester in college again. That's sweet I guess......let's see if they feel the same when I get my grades. I think they're coming on Monday, and you can bet your butt I'm going to be lacing my sneakers in preparation for the mad dash out of the kitchen when they see my GPA....shudder. I'll seeya later folks.....much ...much...later.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Failar: the newest Spanish verb

Well……life is officially over. If a giant boulder saturated with 100 percent (NOT DILUTE) Hydrochloric acid were to fall and destroy me, the day could only get better. Reason? O.Chem Final, 10:00 this morning, worth half my grade. …….I failed it. How do I know I failed it? Well, naturally I would say….WHEN YOU LEAVE THE LAST 5 PAGES OF THE TEST BLANK, YOU FAILED IT! And my nazi professor Schafmeister had the nerve to wish a class of 300 (2/3rds of whom are definately going to fail) “Merry Christmas”…….yeah, well merry f-ing christmas to you! The only consolation ( and I mean that) is that his incompetence as a “teacher” has not gone unnoticed and he’s being FIRED!.....but it’s too little too late, the final has already been given, and I’ve already screwed it over. Isn’t life great? I’m typing a final essay due in 3 hours because I think I don’t have the energy to fail yet another class today…..if you wanna find me I’ll be in Bitterville: Population One. Ciao.